'Patience is a virtue'

Oh Vermont, how I love you, but boy do I miss Boston. Mmmmmhhhmmm that's for sure, I miss my own apartment, my own place, I miss my job, I miss school sadly enough, lol I miss my nails and my crazy busy city. Can't wait to go back, but at the same time don't want this time I have here to slip away too quickly. I love it here, it's so peaceful and beautiful. My home, family, old and new friends and just the familarity of everything. It's funny how things can change so quickly, I was looking through pictures on a friend's webshots and just realized how things use to be in the photographs are not how they are anymore. It's unbelievable, those pictures were not long ago, but now nothing's the same. Is the change for the better? Is it for the worse? That's all in an individual's perspective, I'm sure for some it is better, and for others it may be worse, but in the end, it's how things have turned out. A question that has run through my mind today, is how can a person become so weak at the sight or in the presense of another person? How can we contain all of these hopes, dreams, visions, beliefs and a sense of power and control, but when something so small happens, it all goes out the window? Everything you swore against, and promised would never happen, happened, why does this happen? You feel so strong and powerful, but in an instant you can become weaker than a whisper, and although you still may believe in everything you stood against for so long, it just has no purpose at that moment. Is it how we as humans overcome our stubborness, or just do what we truely want to do? We say all these things to other people but deep down we know what we want, we are the only ones that truely know what we want. I know what I want, and I'm the ONLY one who will ever really know, or understand, so is that the same for everyone else? Although we may tell people altered visions or interpretations of what we want, we truely know what our heart and mind want. Yes, that is it. We have the ability of twisting and changing the things that we tell people about what we really want, however all this time we know what we want, but it may not be the appropriate or right time to let it out to anyone; so we don't. We tell people the way we feel on the surface and merely stick to our surface feelings, we don't reach the deepness of our hearts until we feel it is okay to unleash them. So why do we do this? Is it because we're not quite ready to face our true feelings, is it because we don't feel that these feelings we have are just? I'm not sure yet, but knowing this, about the weakness someone can cause an individual, knowing how we shadow what we really want and knowing that if we act upon emotion things probably won't turn out. Someone told me the other night, 'patience is a virtue,' so try not to be weak, don't act upon emotion, it will not get you anywhere, but don't forget, and don't regret, because at one point it was what you wanted.